The Book: “Guy Fieri Food: Cookin’ it. Livin’ it. Lovin’ it.” First edition, 2011. Ann Volkwein and, of course, Guy Fieri. The book that launched a blog (this one!) and made more money for a chef who was already a celebrity and had lots of it. On his program “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” Guy Fieri — pronounced “FEE-eddy” — has fostered our love of greasy spoons and greasy bleach-blonde goatees. He introduced words like “crunchalicious” into the American vernacular and resurrected words like “money” from a sarcophagus that was buried in the late ’90s. He wears his sunglasses backward instead of just taking them off and he fucking loves Smash Mouth. Chunky jewelry, Saturday shirts … these are all things we’re OK with.
The Contender: An endearingly modest woman who can kinda write and barely cook. Until I become bored with doing this, I’ll cook my way through Fieri’s book, which contains more than 150 “off-the-hook” recipes, including Buffalo Balls, Tequila Turkey Fettuccine, and a thing called No Can Beato this Taquito.
In the end, I just want us all to feel closer to Guy Fieri. To a point that it’s sweaty and breathy and uncomfortable. First recipe coming later this week.