Posts tagged phallic imagery

Guy Fieri, you sonofabitch, you did it. All these years spent cramming my maw full of fried mozzarella sticks (this is not a tale I’m telling —  lookit me last Superbowl Sunday, when this blog was but a glimmer in my groin or whatever) and forever feeling like something was missing. There was a hole that needed to be filled with flavor, a weeping wound begging for a salty salve. Leave it to Guy. He sniffed out that hole — and he filled it with salami.

OK, so it’s already cheese. And it’s already deep fucking fried. And you’re thinking that Guy is just being gross by adding an additional, unhealthy component and wrapping the mozzarella in a couple slices of slappity deli meat before it’s breaded and boiled in oil. Well, stop for a second with the knee-jerky, granola-crunching, Liberal cacapoo and hear the man out, will you … 

I said it once and I’ll say it a million times … if you’re gonna eat something that’s not supposed to be good for you (like fried cheese) then eat the over-the-top, super-duper (yep, I said it, “super-duper” version of it. 

DIONYSIAN HEDONISM. The best part is that this dish appears in the “For Kids” section of the book. By the time our youngsters’ arteries are clogged up, we’ll all have mechanical hearts manufactured by Dyson (with no unpleasant buffeting).

THE INGREDIENTS … 

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