Gwynedd & Guy

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Posts tagged ranch fries

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Recipe eleven: Rojo Onion Rings

You know what’s a real hassle? Besides having segments of your beard meticulously bleached on a bi-weekly basis? DIPPING FOOD IN CONDIMENTS. UGH. Picking up french fry after french fry, hefting each over to a puddle of Hidden Valley Ranch, then bringing the deep-fat-fried and white-fat-drenched crinkle-cut piece of potato all the way up to your mouth. BUT WHAT’S THE SOLUTION? 

An air guitar-playing Guy Fieri slides into the room on his knees and says, “Foods with condiments IN them, motherfuckers.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, and when he pulls them out he’s got an onion ring jammed between each pair of fat fingers. This exact thing might have actually happened in real life …

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