Posts tagged red rocker
Posts tagged red rocker
Last year, a former “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” producer accused Guy Fieri of being a gross pig who hates gay people and requires advanced notice if he’s going to have to interact with them on his program.
Reasons to believe this is true: Just look at the guy.
Reasons to believe this is not true: Just look at the guy. He wears more accessories than Charles Nelson Reilly (RIP). And spends more time at the salon than Charles Nelson Reilly (RIP). Also, he is very profoundly in love with Sammy Hagar …
“I’m a rocker, so of course I’m a Sammy Hagar fan,” Guy writes. Well, of course. That’s like saying, “I’m a dinglebag, so of course I have a two-toned goatee.”
Let’s read on …
“… Sammy found out that I was cooking with his Cabo Wabo tequila … so we decided that he’d come up to Johnny Garlic’s to talk about tequila. I pulled up in my new Corvette just as Sammy pulled up in his GT500. So we immediately went over to each other’s cars and started covering the specs. It was so cool, like I’d known him all my life.”
Aw. Soulmates. But in a tequila-titties-and-cars-related, totally-not-gay way.
How do we tell our platonic lovers how we feel? WE MAKE SANDWICHES ABOUT THEM. Red Rocker Margarita Chicken Sandwiches.
Hey. “Why is Sammy Hagar called the Red Rocker?” is a question I asked that I didn’t know I’d ever want answered. “Sammy Hagar almost always wore red leather outfits onstage, especially as a solo performer.” Also, not gay.
Guy’s love for Sammy is very much a mutual thing! Hagar recently appeared on one of Guy’s hundred-or-so television programs “Guy’s Big Bite” and subsequently posted pictures on his blog, on which he calls Guy his “brother from another mother.” Let’s take a look …
Fieri Foods are inspired by lots of things: shirts with flames on them, L’Oreal Feria #110, shirts with dice on them, sunglasses, Sammy Hagars (so excited to eventually make Red Rocker Margarita Chicken, but someone should really tell Sammy his nickname makes him sound like a dog dick).
Dirty Bird Sketti is so much more specific.
Guy says, ”Cookin’, jammin’ the tunes, and hangin’ with friends and family, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. I created this rockin’ dish while my bro Eric Lindell was bustin’ out his tune ‘Dirty Bird.’” For a guy named Guy, he sure hates the letter G. It’s like he’s being sponsored by apostrophes. Did that joke work? I can’t tell if it worked.
WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME. Going on and on, when there’s so much important jammin’ and tune bustin’ to do …